Monday, February 28, 2011 @ 6:31 AM
My very close and caring friend won't be here with me anymore .
And my N levels is in 5months time and no one will be there to give me support and confidence . I'll have to be independent , once again . Pfft .
/=
FUCK MY
Sunday, February 20, 2011 @ 10:47 PM
and then , you won't find it difficult to move on . I'll show you that actually im a self-centered person , i'll show you , how usless i am .
And i'll show you , how much you deserve someone else and that im not worth your tears .
(':
Labels: life .
FUCK MY ,
I wont be so mean to text you and say that i miss you . Cause if i were to , i know you'll have difficulties moving on . So here is the only way i can express myself . ('=
I'll have to get use to no more late night text and early morning text AGAIN. pfft .
I think im gonna abandon this blog as it is becoming dull , and move to tumblr . Im considering about it .
Will update soon if i've made my decision.
Sometimes i feel like im talking alone , cause my tagbox is so DEAD . pfft >__< .
Will update soon if i've made my decision.
Sometimes i feel like im talking alone , cause my tagbox is so DEAD . pfft >__< .
Labels: life .
I'll be ,
Friday, February 18, 2011 @ 11:28 PM
I've promise to myself that i will not fall in love until i can clear all these chaos and haywire in my mind , I will too , only if i can find peace in myself .
(:
Labels: independent as long as i can .
Maafkan aku ,
Dear A.W ,
Thank you for loving me and showering me with your care and concern , even if its only for a short period of time .
You know how much all that mean to me ? I really2 appreciate it .
I am terribly sorry for hurting you .
I am so sorry if i made you cry over me . For what i know , you're a wonderful guy and that you deserve someone betta .
You know how much i loved you ? And i'll always will , even as a friend .
Thank you for spending your special time with me .
I hope you can go on with life , and be happy even without me .
Thank you for teaching me some new stuff .
('=
Labels: bila hasratku keliru .
If i say Saranghaeyo ,
Last evening , gave bby his biggest shock , i came down to his place when he was sleeping .
=D
Labels: i mean it .
I want to ,
Wednesday, February 16, 2011 @ 5:10 AM
School is getting more and more on my nerves . I hate using this words , but , i have too , im nervous , serious shit . I feel like my time is precious each and every single day , and i don't want to waste it . I was thinking about staying over my aunt's place , which is at clementi , till N levels are over . But i didnt speak about this to anyone else yet . I dont know if im doing the right decision . I want to improve myself . I want to concentrate on my studies , I want to pass my N levels , and i want to quit smoking , which i think is possible if i stay away from all the smokers for a few months , so it wont be so tempting . Insyaallah .
But , the disadvantage of staying over is , i will have to wake up as early as 5 or 4+ am to go to sch , and what more , how abt my tutions ? my CCA ? what time will i reach "home" if my CCA ends at 6pm ?
And most of all , i wont be having any time to spend with bby , and my loved ones . No more slacking , cause i wont be having any friends there .
I should really consider about this again .
pfft , i've been think about this over and over , and i really want to make a difference in my life . That is all i'm aiming for now .
Labels: be successful .
I am not feeling ,
Friday, February 11, 2011 @ 8:40 AM
Deep inside , everything lies a realization of myself .
Perhaps , i have learned , how to take a step forward , but i did not learned how to take a step backward .
Labels: good .
I wanna show ,
I wanna know what's the meaning of true love , seriously .
I am sick and tired living a life like this , where everyone thinks that i have it all , but it's so empty living behind this castle walls . I think there's something wrong with me . Everytime i tried oppening my heart using my hand , my leg would closed it back . How pathetic can that be ? I don't know what's with me nor what am i doing . I feel so NUMB . I don't know what i feel or how i feel . I am someone who is completely unexplainable . Some things are hard to accept , but still it's there , no matter how i try to forget or close my eyes on it . It all depends on if i stand tall and strong or i give in and fall .
I'll stop here , cause , there is a cute boy waiting for me and , i'm missing my bbyg , ZieeBeybehh Lee . =D
Labels: em .
I didn't even know i have ,
Wednesday, February 2, 2011 @ 6:07 AM
Sometimes it qets too much to bare , sometimes i just can't take it . So i look inside and try to find , the strenqth i have to fake it . My expectation was too high , i guess , that's why i fell so hard and sunk so low .
Muhammad Zulfadly bin Zainal ;
Upon knowing you're released today , we , head down to your place to visit you . I have to say this , there were too many kinds of feelings that run through us , but we managed to hide it well . When i saw you from far , at one glance , i can recognise it's you . We was expecting you to be overjoyed , when meeting us but , you just seemed not pleased enough by our presence . And the most unexpected thing is that , you asked us to walk off , and that shows how much you don't need us . I don't understand you , when you wrote letter , i can sense that you're really looking forward to meet us but , when the time is here , it's like you hated us so much . We didn't know what went wrong but one thing is for sure , i can see you're a change man , and i'm proud of it .
Both parties have made mistakes but , we have our explanations to it , how about yours ? We may not know till when , cause we didn't have the chance to speak to you , you're trying to avoid us . But all i can say for now is , we will try to understand you , but one day , if we are gonna be totally saperated , then it's your turn to understand us .
And you may look at our facebook pictures and say " they really did enjoy life without me " , well , then , i'll have to say , even if we did , we still waited for your release and that we still think about you . Unbelievable ? Then you can go and take a look at my post on the May 20th 2010 , thursday . Sometimes i wonder , whye do i like to waste my fuckin time writing here for people who don't really need me in their life .
~Afterall , this is what called "LIFE" .
Labels: that much strength .