No matter what ,
Monday, November 29, 2010 @ 5:05 AM
When " friendship " falls apart , it feels like i'm stading at the edge of a cliff , deciding if i sould go down or remain there . I have to admit that i'm not a good friend . But all i can say is that , " i tried my hardest and my best to be one . " I wish , things could go back to normal , where i only know happiness .
Dear friend , you've change , and i know that for sure .
You can deny but this heart can differenciate the old you and now .
I miss the old you ,
patience , trust , care , jokes , honest , respect , laughs and the feeling of love in friendship .
But when you change , i'll have to say that i don't know you .
Everytime you talk , you would always want to " win " .
It's like you didn't even want to hear my explaination , where's the trust ?
Where's the old you , who has never shouted at me before , where's the respect ?
I'm not trying to judge you or whatsoever , but , that anger you're keeping underneath you , don't let it out to the wrong ones . This is just a piece advise for you , my dear friend , if you're gonna act this way till the end , no one is gonna stick with you .
I'm saying all these is not because i'm blaming you .
You said , try putting myself in your shoes ,
how about try putting yourself in my shoes , i bet not even for a day , you would want to walk in these shoes .
You always do whatever you think is right , but you didn't think over it twice , if it's gonna hurt people's feelings , if it's gonna bring a scar to someone's life ? have you ever think about that ?
Friend , not all humans are the same , remember you told me " not all guys are the same ? " , i bet you don't , cause even if you were to read all these , you might just think it's a bullshit .
If you're not gonna kill those supressed anger in you , i'm sorry , but i'll have to say , you'll be lonely .
For sure you're gonna say " im just a small kid , idk what life is gonna be like " . Yes dear friend , i may be 15 , but that doesn't mean you're older than me , you don't need to take my advise .
Remember those times when i used to cook for you ? Remember we used to meet each other everyday ? Remember we used to share our cigg ? Remember when we used to talk alot with each other ? I don't think you remember , cause you may be thinking that all these i'm writing is just a trash .
I remember the times you used to make me happy when i feel so down . I remember you saw me fall . I remember you gave me a rose . I remember when you teach me maths . I remember when we used to sit down and talk alot . I remember when we were drunk . I remember you asked me if i'm fine everytime when i'm quiet . I remember when we shared our stories to each other - " you listen , i talk , you talk , i listen " . I still remember the times you cared , the times you shared .
I still remember the old you .
"She's just stating down a piece of shit , she's just emotional , i don't agree to whatever she've said . " Maybe , that's what you gonna say .
- Sometimes , i feel like , there's no point stating all these when you're not gonna understand me . Furthuremore , you're gonna think that whatever i state down here is just a piece of crap .
I can only hope , that one day , you can change to be a better person , and a friend that once i've known . -
Labels: you're still my friend .